I joined a community peace group in 1980 that had been together a long time,” Ayvazian writes. When I first got there, I did not understand what was going on. They were talking about events that had happened a year before, what had worked and what had not worked and that information all went past me. Not until I had been to about four meetings did someone notice I had not said much.
At the end of that fourth meeting this person asked if I would appear on a call-in radio program in three weeks with another member of the group. She helped me prepare for it and, although I still felt quite green about the issues and did not say very much on the show, I was buoyed up by her confidence in me.
After the show, having publicly represented the group, I felt very involved with it. I felt that I had done something important. Giving newcomers that kind of meaningful task early on is what groups need to do to keep new people.
Note here that a more established person deliberately helped bring the new person in—this kind of “buddy system” can be very good. Andrea goes on to point out that,
Even if you did something three years ago, somebody new in the group may have a new turn on it, or may want to head it up differently. It does not help to respond automatically with, “We did that.” Treated in this manner, new people feel both they and their ideas dismissed.
Evaluate the idea with the new person: “This is not a good community for Christmas balls—we think.” But try to resist making absolute responses.
A key issue here is trusting that those new people can do a good job. You just have to help them start out, give them the information they need, hang around for a while in case they need help, and then let go. If you’re having trouble letting go, consider the fact that in a democratic, ongoing process no one person is ever in control of the group.